Okay, debate among yourselves

So John McCain has gone all wobbly-legged and won't debate Obama now. If he doesn't show up Friday, I want that guy from SNL who impersonates McCain to be invited to give McCain’s answers. That would be great. Here’s a sample.

Moderator: Senator Obama, what is at stake in this economic crisis?

Obama: It's been four decades since Bobby Kennedy crouched in a shack along the Mississippi Delta and looked into the wide, listless eyes of a hungry child. Again and again he tried to talk to this child, but each time his efforts were met with only a blank stare of desperation. And when Kennedy turned to the reporters traveling with him, with tears in his eyes he asked a single question about poverty in America: "How can a country like this allow it?" This question is still relevant today. While Wall Street executives are cashing out and walking away with a government financed $700 billion bailout—which could in fact prove to be a $1 trillion hit on taxpayers in the end—we see children without health insurance, and families being thrown out of their homes. And then, to add insult to injury, we find Republicans are deliberately working to strip voters who have been forced to relocate because they have lost their homes of their right to vote. Targeting these voters in their efforts to disenfranchise millions of voters in the hard-hit Midwest. Like Bobby Kennedy I ask: “How can a country like this allow it?”

Moderator: Senator McCain?

Darryl Hammonds as John McCain: I drive a Maverick. It’s an awful car. And rusty. It’s that color of yellow orange that U.S. car makers loved in the 70’s. They made Gremlins that color too. But I don’t have a Gremlin. I have a Maverick. Like me. I’m a maverick. I’m not a gremlin. I’m a little rusty too. You know Gremlins were made by AMC, that old U.S. car company that went out of business. Mitt Romney’s dad ran that company. And, my friends, Mitt Romney told me: Our economy is on the move and we are creating thousands of new jobs, but we need to keep our foot on the gas pedal.

Moderator: But that’s clearly not true.

Darryl Hammonds as John McCain: I was a POW. I was in a North Vietnamese prison camp. One day I was in the prison yard and a North Vietnamese guard—we called them gooks or slants—came up to me and drew an image of a dollar sign at our feet with the bayonet at the end of his rifle. For a moment, we were just two guys who wanted a little money in our pockets so we could buy some whores. I’ll never forget that moment. Even though it never happened.

Moderator: Uh.......